May 17th, 2012

So I never finished the last post because I got really upset and had a terrible night of self-pity and stress over the whole thing.  But since then I have quit the diet from the dietician because it was just too stressful for me.  I didn’t go to work the next day because I basically was having anxiety attacks over the whole thing.  The day that I stayed out of work I followed the diet to a “T” and my sugar was still all over the place so I was just so over it.  So I had an epiphany and decided that I don’t have to eat that diet – I was doing really well and consistent on the other diet and it wasn’t stressful so I decided to do that again and see what happens with the medication. 

My sugar has still been crazy but I have also been stressed out over various things at various times.  They have changed my medication twice since then so hopefully it will improve.  It is terrific today but it’s only half the day gone ;)  Hopefully I can keep it up. 

In more exciting and interesting news – We found a house and have a contract on it that should close at the end of this month (maybe sooner!).  God’s hands have been all over this process – I love it when that happens! 

When we lived at Chandler Park we decided that when our lease was up we would move – we wanted to buy but didn’t know our credit situation after all that we had been through with the Hazel house.  Our lease was up March, 2011 so in December, 2010 we started to look into what our credit looked like.  We contacted a mortgage lender that was recommended to us and Ryan met with her.  She did a complete overview of our credit – mine was good/decent….Ryan’s was less than desirable ;)  We wouldn’t be able to get a loan with Ryan’s current score.  The overview showed what things were affecting our credit and had several things that we knew we could fix immediately – no big deal.  So we got to work on that.  We were told to check the credit every month but no more than that.  So we did and Ryan’s score came up quite a bit but still not enough.  

We talked about it and decided we could just rent for a year and then we wouldn’t have this pressure of a deadline and we could get our credit looking great by then.  Meanwhile we were living with my parents in Scottsville.  I started looking for rental properties immediately but couldn’t find much that seemed like a good fit for us and Elsie.  So we continually discussed it.

We both decided that we really didn’t want to rent but it felt like we didn’t have much choice even though it didn’t feel like that was what we were supposed to do.  We both talked to our parents about the situation because they were aware of what was going on.  Both sets of parents agreed that renting didn’t seem like a good idea and that we should do whatever we could to try to buy.  Ryan’s parents said that they would cosign a loan and help us with the down payment if that was necessary.  My parents also said they would cosign so we decided to try using dad on the loan as a cosigner.  After looking into it, the lender said that we should use my mom instead because dad’s income is so complicated because he is a minister.  So we did but because mom and dad had recently purchased a truck, we were unable to use them.  So we asked Joann again to make sure and she said yes and we got to work right away.  

We were able to get preapproved – finally!  During this time I think we were on the Service Road Trip for Spring Break and so we planned to look at homes as soon as we made it back in town.  I had been looking online for some time and our realtor, Laura, had sent us several listings as well.  

Before we were preapproved, we had visited an open house of a home that was minutes from the church across the street from one our members.  We loved it!  It had plenty of room and was updated and clean and in the perfect location.  It also had a pool and hot tub included (ha!).  So when we started looking at homes the first day, we were comparing them to the first house we had seen.  After that first day of seeing about 4 houses, we decided that we would like to see the Sugarhill house again and make an offer.  So we went to see the house the next day and immediately made our offer.  The sellers had 24 hours to respond and actually took longer but did respond with a counter offer much higher than we wanted to pay (the house was actually out of our price range but was overpriced for sure).  So we countered back with our final offer.  They came back the next day saying they had to have a certain amount – one we were not willing to pay.  We knew God had other plans for us.

So we started the house search again.  Ryan and I both decided that an ideal location would actually be in town and not in Alvaton because most of the teens live in town and we have poor attendance when we have TNT at the church.  That opened our options further so I made another list to look at. 

After another day of looking, we found the next house that we were ready to buy.  We would have made an offer that day but we had received a new listing from Laura the night before and decided that we should see it before we made an offer.  The problem was that the seller had already signed the papers and everything to list it right when they experienced a death in their family.  We couldn't see the house til the following Monday.  We were so anxious to see it and frustrated because we couldn’t!  And to top it off, the owner didn’t have a picture on the listing and eventually only posted the front view of the house so we couldn’t get a sneak peek.  I got on Google maps and saw the street view before there was ever a picture online so I told Ryan we should drive there to see if it was even worth looking at.  So he drove by one day while I was at work and he said we definitely needed to wait and see it but he still preferred the other home for different reasons.  One was because of the location – but this was before he knew the shortcuts which were its saving grace ;).  Also he thought he wouldn’t like the yard because it was bigger and had a black chain linked fence instead of a privacy fence.  However the other house didn’t have a fence at all and we would have to put on up.  Another thing was that this new listing was listed $2,000 more than the other.

So we speculated and discussed the new listing all week because we were so ready to just buy a house already.  Finally Monday came.  Mom decided to come look with us because I had taken her to see the other house as well.  First we couldn’t get in because the seller had locked the storm door.   So while we waited for the seller to bring the key, we went in the back yard to check it out.  It was AWESOME.  We immediately were 10x’s more excited to see the house.   I was afraid to go in almost because I didn’t want something to be bad about it.  Once the owner came (which turns out I knew her because her child attends FCA) we went it and loved it even more.  The further I went, the more I liked and once I was to the bedrooms I said “I’m afraid to keep looking because there has to be a catch”.  But there wasn’t.  The house was fantastic.  There were a few thing s that were outdated but that was actually a good thing for us because we will be able to add equity to the home instead of paying for those upgrades up front. 

We immediately made an offer.  We were so excited about this house.  The sellers countered but with something we could live with so we accepted!  So far everything has gone wonderfully.  The inspection has a few minor repairs required but even if they didn’t want to fix them, it wouldn’t change anything.  We had the appraisal done this week and should be back any time now.  As soon as that comes back, we will know the closing date which will be before May 30^th! 

We have been dreaming about this house ever since – we cannot wait to move in.  We can’t wait to let CK play in the yard and be able to run in the house with all the room (there is even a doggy door!).  We can’t wait to bring Elsie home to our first official home as a family!  We just can’t wait!

My other exciting news is about yesterday.  I had two doctors’ appointments…one at Fairview and the other at the Maternal Fetal Group to get my weekly ultrasound and sugar check.  Both doctors’ appointments were pretty long as far as the wait but it wasn’t that bad.  We got to hear Elsie’s heartbeat at Fairview.  Then at the weekly Ultrasound, mom wanted to come in.  I was kind of hesitant mainly because we don’t usually get to really look at Elsie in these ultrasounds because they are just checking for the fluid around her.  But I didn’t mind, I just didn’t want her to be disappointed. 

The technician knew mom and they chatted about grandparents, etc.  The lady is really nice – I see her every week.  After she measured the fluid, she let us see Elsie’s profile, etc.  And then she said that since Mater was here she was going to do the 4D ultrasound!  I was so surprised because they usually cost $100+ but she was going to do it for free! 

The 4D was so cool!  I wasn’t even interested in getting one done because I have seen pictures from them and you still can’t tell much and I always thought they didn’t really look much like the kid when they are born.  But I guess Elsie was sleeping because she sat really still for us and we got some fantastic pictures of her.  She had her hand at her face the whole time but we could still see.  She also did a shot of her profile and we saw that she actually had her foot up by her face as well!  It was so funny to see!  We could see that she has her daddy’s nose – too cute!  And the lady also did the video in 4D and she was shaking my belly trying to get Elsie to move her hand and all of the sudden we saw her scrunch up her little face like “what are you doing out there?”  Ryan says that’s just like her momma – not wanting to be bothered while sleeping…ha!  It was such a neat experience!  It makes me just want to see that sweet face even more!  I can’t stop looking at the pictures too – you can tell so much about her little face and it’s just so sweet…I can’t get enough!

It has just been an exciting week for me and I can’t believe there are only 9 ½ weeks left til Elsie is here – and sooner than that we will be moving!  Also school lets out next Wednesday so I won’t have to work after that which is going to be so nice.  Camp is almost here – so much going on.  This week is the graduation banquet so I have been getting ready for that.  Abbi is coming this weekend for that.  And then next week is a graduation marathon – one Friday, two Saturday, and one Sunday!  And then June 3^rd will be my first baby shower and Abbi, Michelle, Melissa and maybe even Jennifer are coming for that so it will be great. 

Whew!  So many unexpected blessings – God is so good!

May 2nd, 2012

I’m so ready for you to get here little girl.  Last week I found out that I have gestational diabetes.  I had taken the glucose test a week before and the test came back that I was borderline, so they wanted me to come in for the 3-hour test the next week.  It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be but it definitely wasn’t fun either.  After it was over, I was optimistic because of two things – one was the fact that I had drank a Dr. Pepper before the first test I took which would affect my sugar for that test; second because after I left the test I felt like my sugar was super low which is what was supposed to happen.  They told me they would call me if there was bad news by the next afternoon.  

 I waited and waited and the day came and went.  I was feeling pretty good that night at church because I never got the call.  The next morning I got a call from a number I didn’t recognize (which usually means it’s Fairview) and knew what was about to occur.  The lady on the other end of the phone told me that the test had come back and all of the blood samples showed high blood sugar.  I failed the test miserably.  I didn’t think I would be upset; really diet and exercise should be able to keep such a thing under control.  The lady told me I needed to come to the doctor’s office as soon as I could which was within 20 minutes.  I told her sure and started to get on my way.   

I checked out of work and got in my car.  I kept telling myself it was no big deal – don’t be upset.  But I wasn’t okay – I cried harder than I ever had.  I chalk it up to pregnant hormones!  I cried all the way to the clinic and then parked in a parking lot across the street because I knew I couldn’t go in.  I called Ryan – I had already called him crying while driving to the clinic to tell him what was going on – and I told him I couldn’t go in by myself.  He decided he could come and meet me to go to my appointment.  I was glad.  I knew he was 20-30 minutes away and I could hopefully regain my composure before he got there.  I started to put on my makeup to that I didn’t look like I’d been crying as much as I had but couldn’t do it.  I started crying again.  I decided to just let it happen and get it all out since now I had some time.  Eventually I was able to calm down somewhat and put on my makeup and waited for Ryan.  I still felt like I could cry at any moment but I knew I could at least get through this meeting.  

Ryan got to the clinic and we went in.  We met with a lady who told me facts about gestational diabetes and talked as if I had known about it for some time and not that I had literally just found out, cried my eyes out, and walked in the door.  That was actually comforting to me in a way.  The lady told me that I would have to change my diet and also check my blood sugar four times a day.  I was very surprised by this because I had read that you didn’t have to do so.  The thought of pricking my finger four times a day did not sound like a good idea at all.  She took my sugar there in the office to show my how to use the meter.  After our meeting I had to give blood once again – which has now just become something I do.  I felt much better after the appointment and Ryan and I went to eat lunch together.  I also had to make another appointment for a week later (today) to get an ultrasound and meet with a dietitian.  I cried again later that night but for the most part felt peace about it.  

Since then I changed my diet and checked my sugar 4 times a day.  It hasn’t been that difficult except that I had trouble with Kroger getting my prescription filled.  My sugar seemed to be normal except for in the morning after fasting my sugar was always high.  I read that it was pretty normal to have that happen, especially to women so I didn’t think much about it.  

Today was my appointment at the ultrasound and dietician.  The ultrasound was fine as usual – they told me that the fluid around the baby was a little more than normal which can be from the diabetes but the baby looked normal.  

The dietician told me that she wants me to take a low dose of some medication for my sugar that is high in the mornings.  This upset me because the diet that they have put me on is completely different from what I was told at Fairview so I would have liked to have a chance to try the new diet before them jumping the gun on medication.

TO BE CONTINUED...

[little fishy]

I just felt you move!! It felt like a fish did a flip inside me – weird. I am at work so I messaged your dad on gmail and he was so excited. He wanted to be here. I hope we will feel you more often!

[February 7, 2012]

Today we had our first ultrasound – we finally got to meet you!! Yesterday we heard your heartbeat and we were wondering even more if there were twins in there because the lady said that my uterus was bigger than it should be at 16 weeks. She had some trouble finding your heartbeat – you must have been wiggling around in there. She finally found it and checked your heart rate – 144 which is normal. We were so happy to hear you in there. We were disappointed because we thought we would have an ultrasound that day but later they told us that they would schedule one for later this week, And when the lady finally gave us all the appointments, she said she could get us an ultrasound for the next day in the morning. Your dad and I were so excited – we talked about you all day.

Today I had to go to work so it was really hard to be patient even for just a few hours. When we got to the doctor’s office we realized that the ultrasound would be done right down the hall from where Mater works. We saw her and told her where we were going. While we were signing in, Mater came in to see us and told us to come tell her everything once we done but we invited her to come in with us. She was so excited that she would get to see you too!!

When we first got to see you, you were facing forward on your side. We could see your little face. The doctor measured you all over while we watched. She pointed out your legs and feet, your arms, your head. We even saw your little heart beating; that was daddy’s favorite part. The doctor tried to see if you were a he or a she but you had your little feet tucked behind your bum; daddy said you must take after him because he sleeps like that sometimes. The doctor would shake you by pushing on my tummy. I had a full bladder so that was interesting. The doctor told us that I was 15 weeks and 5 days; less than we thought. She said she couldn’t tell for sure what you were but if she had to guess she would say a girl. We were glad. I will go back in three weeks to see you again and maybe you will be more cooperative.

We love you so much already.